24 hours is a long time!

As it says above I think I just came to the realisation that 24 hours is a long but also kinda short time. Here’s how this revelation came to be, I was just sat about to go onto youtube to see what amazing delights from my subscribers awaited me from the last day, alas very little but I went to click on one video and was like “Oh no I watched this just before I went to bed” and then I noticed it was uploaded 22 hours ago which ultimately meant I haven’t yet hit the 24 hour mark I know that but that’s just a technicality (I don’t think 22 hours is a long time would have had as great an effect)
So as I continue to procrastinate here it is, 22 hours ago I was sat on this same bed having  just finished an episode of cloud street (which by the way is fantastic if you haven’t watched it already go and give it a try!)  and about to go to bed ready for the next day in work.
In truth my 24 hours have built up from
2 hours unable to sleep until 2am
5  hours sleeping until 7am
Half an hour getting ready for work
Half an hour when in work getting ready to start work
9 1/2 hours in work
1 Hour shopping for random items at my local supermarket
1 hour eating dinner and talking to Family
2 hours watch movies to relax
1 hour preparing guiding stuff
1 hour doing random stuff on the interwebs (basically procrastinating from doing anything important, youtube included in that)

So there’s my day split up and I’ve not done anything particularly adventurous or amazing in that time but broken down like that I realise just how long a day is. Also is scares me to think I just chose to use those hours that way (See my previous blog about we don’t HAVE to do anything) and I can’t ever get them back.
Forever etched in my history will be this day and I can’t help but wish I had done something better with some of those hours, kinda deep yeah?

I’m not sure what the aim of this blog was intended to be. I don’t think I really had an intention I just wanted to get my thoughts out randomly.
Enjoy, think about your hours and make the most of them!

Quick easy Christmas gift

So with Christmas coming up and being stuck in a recession it can be hard to figure what to get people, so I am going to show you a gift that can be a small token for friends or for younger/teen family members or even to adults if these are done say in metallic paper and put into glasses etc they could look kinda classy. I learnt how to make these when I was 14 so they could even be used as a craft for kids around christmas. They are Chinese good luck or wish stars.

You need to take a strip of paper, if you run sheets of paper through a shredder at the largest setting it should get this. If not just cut them yourself length wise on a a4 piece of paper about a CM thick.

Then fold the paper as above, it looks like a breast cancer care ribbon. You need the shortest end underneath the longest piece.

Then pull the shortest piece up towards going through the hole.

Pull it through and tight and flatten it into a pentagon. All sides should fit comfortably in so it’s not loose.

Then start to wrap the piece of paper around the pentagon. Each time you should be able to feel where it sits right on each side. If it doesn’t fit perfectly then it’s the other Edge that it needs to be place onto.

Just keep going……

Until you get to this stage, then tuck the left over under the other side. If it comes right out the other side just rip the bit hanging out off.

You will end up with this.

This next bit can be tricky, you are trying to pinch the sides in and push them up to create a 3D point. If it doesn’t work the first time and it gets bent sometimes it is just better to start again or to practise first of all with the other sides.

Then do the next side

The next side after…..

Then your final side.

Neaten it up and pitch the sides all in fully.

Repeat the step over and over until you have a bunch of them

You can use different sizes of paper up to a 1 1/2 CM in thickness. Also the longer the paper the stronger the stars. Maybe try metallic paper.

Now to the gift part, there are a few things you can do with these you can put them in jars as above. I will be putting ribbon and a little decorative explanation tag onto mine to make them into a cute little trinket. If you can get globe pendants you can put one or two in a pendant and onto a chain. You could put them in classes or vases to be decorative. You could use them as confetti, I did this when I was 17 for my music teachers wedding present, I got them a Macy’s gift card as they were going to New York for their honeymoon, I put it into a gift box with a lot of stars and explained that they are believed to be lucky/wish stars to start them off well on their marriage and I’d handmade them all and they seemed to love the whole idea of it.

So hope you will give them a try If you do be sure to leave a comment. If you need any help let me know in the comments and I will try and help out.

One fine day in Manchester City……..*To the theme of emerald city from Wicked*

Not all good plans go the way they should do but sometimes they turn out just fine. Reason I say this is today it was planned that I would take my Senior Section (Older age range of Guides 14 – 25 year olds) to manchester. Right now we only have 5 regular members and all were planned to be coming along, unfortunately 3 of them bailed meaning as usual we decided to cancel. Only I felt awful as this is the 2nd time this has happened and the two who always want to come along to things were going to miss out AGAIN. So I contacted them last night and let them know, if they wanted to go then we still would, I wasn’t having them missing out again.

So today at 1pm we hopped on the train to Manchester. Just myself and the two other girls.

They were handed a map of the Manchester Christmas markets and told it was their job today to direction us around. Their first task was to direction us to the Manchester wheel which they did relatively quickly…super impressed leader here!
It came as quite a shock when they got to cut the whole queue because I had pre booked our tickets, the girls hadn’t known they were going on this until the night before anyway as it was a surprise. Non of us had been on it before so it was a nice little start to our day. We then proceeded to go to the first of the 9 markets which was closest and revelled in the giant chocolate snowmen.

Afterwhich I discovered neither of the girls had ever been to China town, now I know one of the girls has a HUGE obsession with Hello Kitty and I know China town is a haven for all things Hello Kitty. So we head on over going to the Chinese supermarkets and craft stalls. The girl who is obsessed with Hello Kitty was in her element! We also bought kits to make lucky origami stars with the promise that I would teach them how on the train home.

After China town we finally had something to eat and made our way over to Primark, all the way there though one of the girls is constantly asking if we can go on the tram. I tell her we need somewhere to go on the tram though, while actually thinking we can probably get it back to Picadilly station afterwards.

Primark was a HUGE success with the girls laughing at my enthusiasm for Animal socks and also my obsession for bags. I ended up with a brand new leather messenger bag and a primark “COOL BEANS!” bag while the girls got Animal socks and charms for bracelets.
I was then persuaded by the girls to buy a onesie…..yes I did it I bought a blue polka dot with hearts on onesie and then to go with it brown and blue bear socks.

We promptly headed over to the rest of the markets, ooohing and ahhhing over many wonders and also enjoying the street performers.
We managed to get to all of the markets successfully in 7 hours with stops here and there and had a really good time.
The oldest of the two girls for the remaining 2 hours of our journey quite oddly couldn’t  stop giggling, 2 hours straight of giggling, not helped by when we had to run for the tram in order to get back to Piccadilly.

So in short, yes we were meant to have more of us but we had fun non the less the girls seem to have had a lot of fun and have said so on facebook which is nice to see.

Here are some pictures from the day

 

What do you mean we’re outdated?

I never ever usually video log, so this is a rarity! Also probably not that interesting.

Paper work and crazyness

Ok so here’s how things go with me. I have no will power to say no to things, it’s a common known fact throughout the volunteering word that no doesn’t come into our vocabulary. So tonight I have the Senior Section girls over for their meeting we do a heck of a lot of paperwork, I finally go about doing the accounts for the girls so the parents have a copy of what they owe and don’t owe etc. Simples but then it comes to activities with the girls etc and I somehow agree to take them to Big Gig which is a concert for Girl Guides aged 10 plus, I am also taking them on an in4mer training weekend where they will learn to be peer educators so up to now I have two weekends in just as many months taken up next year. I don’t need credit and this isn’t what this blog is about by any means I do it because overall I do like to do it. So that’s that, then next week I arranged that we would go for a McDonalds after we all take the Brownies and Guides to the Cinema which is fine and agreed, then I realise I forgot that we had arranged to go to the Christmas Markets, so there I go again and slot in one of my few days off this week to take them to that. Then we decide that we will still have our regular meeting on the Wednesday.
So there are 3 more days, crazy right?

I don’t know how it happens honestly I don’t that in one single 2 hour meeting I have given away 8 days of my spare time from work, how crazy is that? I dread to think if I was one of those crazy volunteers who takes on even more responsibility (yes they exist trust me!)

So to sum up I am sat with a bunch of paperwork in front of me including common wealth award things, accounts and money details, receipts from the girls that need to be put against their monthly subs and wondering how 8 more additional days just got added to my schedule *Falls asleep on the living room floor in pre-emptive exhaustion)

Ah well another random ramble over, G’nite tinternet folk!

You know it’s bad when……

We’ve all had that moment, lets be honest, the one where you’re in a bad spot in life and something that happens just makes you realise just how bad it is. 
I had that moment tonight, while with the Brownies & Guides. I love running meetings for those kids (If you haven’t noticed from my previous blogs) and then tonight I just didn’t even want to be with them. I honestly just wanted to be on my own somewhere else, seriously secluded from the whole world on my own. So I proceeded to ensure that the young leaders knew exactly what they were doing and set them on task to run the meeting for the night (There were 3 of them with around 10 girls it wasn’t too traumatic) while I did paperwork. I just wanted to shut myself out. 

Now I know what is causing me the problems and why I feel this way and trust me I am trying to get out of it I am doing everything in my damn power to make things better for myself but through no fault of my own it’s simply not possible. *sighs* 

So what do you all do when you hit that point? I’m usually a positive person but lately I’ve just found myself more and more lost, confused, down, just wanting to shut myself out and tonight really really made it hit home. 

I even left the meeting feeling deflated and just wanting to come home, snuggle up in bed and forget the world. 

It’s the little things….

I’ve just come to realise I’m one of  ”those” people, you know one of those people that sometimes no matter how many times you tell them something kinda important they may still forget. Now I’m not mean or malicious or intend to do this but I have done it and I am sure we all have.

Recently I’ve done it to a team member at work and felt AWFUL for it. You see I enjoy baking so every so often I will bake some random experimentation and I will take them into work for my colleagues to test them out. Now here is where it gets awful, I have a colleague who is diabetic and every single time I forget and offer him a cake and every single time I have meant to look up a diabetic recipe so I can at least offer him something he can try. Plus it’ll be a nice challenge to bake something a little more challenging in a different way.

So an hour earlier I was scouring the internet trying to find diabetic cake recipes so when I make my next batch I can tell him he can try them this time around.

But I just realised how hard it is holy moly, which made me feel even worse. Seriously diabetic options for things are tough, so I feel even more awful offering him cakes because I forgot every time.

Seriously it seems like such a little thing but I feel so bad for it and he was so nice about it each time when I was just pulling a Homer Simpson “DOH!”

Either way I think I have found a diabetic chocolate cake with a cream cheese frosting, so wish me luck!

What would you give your life up for……

Ok so the above question has two ways of looking at it, A.what would you give your life up for to change it totally or b. what would you give your life up for if you were to die.

I have just finished reading all 3 hunger games books and before any of you avid readers out there panic and stop reading, no I won’t be doing any spoilers fear not.
But my point I am going to say is in that book, albeit it’s fiction, Katniss is willing to give up her life for her sisters, she has a 1 in 24 chance of living but is willing to take that chance….so what would you give yours up for?

In regards to giving my life up for a big change there are a couple of things, if someone told me I was going to get to be a tour manager or just work on a tour I would give up everything I have here up and leave and do that, no question in my mind I would do it. No more questions asked, I am on that tour bus ready to work my butt off any anyway I need to.
Second option is I get to go work abroad to do care or relief work, I have ALWAYS wanted to do this, in fact it wouldn’t even have to be abroad but the simple fact is I have never been able to afford to do something like this. I’d love to give up my entire life and just go work in a 3rd world country, actually do some kind of good. Give my life meaning and use. But the fact is financial woes will always step over that dream while it lies on the floor desperately gasping for breath. (Nice visual right? ummm)

What would I give my life up for if I was to die, my family. Genuinely those family members that are so close to me (I’m not being mean but those who know me know the deal) I would take a bullet for, jump infront of a car for anything.
Second is my Guiding family, certain members of which drive me insane but I would give up m life for them, they probably don’t even know it but I would hate to see any of those kids or my friends hurt. I think I can genuinely say I would give up my life for any of them. Even the ones that drive me up the wall and I want to walk out some meeting times or the ones who never seem to quite appreciate the effort we have put into a meeting. They’re still good kids and still there for a reason and still must enjoy their time there and a lot of them I have watched grow up, it’s kinda scary.

So what would you give your life up for? In both senses……?

Why be so mean?

Here’s the deal, I unfortunately have an “aunt” who doesn’t like me, no genuinely doesn’t like me. Never has and since I was very small hasn’t spoken to me nor ever will.
Now in line with this it means she frequently criticizes me and just generally tries to hurt me mainly through younger members of my family passing on messages, telling them little lies here and there. She will on occasion see younger members of my family who are very close to me and will say awful things to them regarding me. Luckily the ones who get the brunt end of it are old enough to have their own minds about me but I honestly don’t see what this woman has against me. She has never liked me from the word go and no matter what I do she finds fault in it.
When I was 15 our family all lost touch through disagreement. During this time my aunt proceeded to spread rumours to people about how I was a “Dirty little lesbian” Now the funny part about this is I’m very much straight but had a lot of lesbian and gay friends which I don’t see to be a problem, it’s very archaic to me that she would come out with such things anyway. But she was spreading that as if it was something to hurt me.
Further more she recently told my cousins oldest daughter that I was lazy and bone idle and I’m wasting my education.

 
Now lets put this into perspective
-I put myself through college, worked my butt off, no one ever told me to go to college I got the idea I went for it!
-I put myself through university, same deal that is just what I wanted to do so I would get it by all costs! No financial support at all I did it all me.
-I had a part time job when I was younger and then when I was at university I juggled a part time job with all my uni work.
- I work 40 hours a week various shift patterns various days of the week. Given not in a job in the right career path but has she seen the economy I am lucky to have a job.
-Just achieved my 5 years service for volunteer work!
-I co-run a Brownie and Guide unit on a tuesday evening.
-I fully lead a senior section unit which meet on a wednesday Evening
-In the past year or so I have:
-Been to America for 3 months to work in a summer camp, paid for totally by myself.
-Went to the house of Commons to speak to MP’s about a petition forward by Girl Guiding UK (Ok just over a year ago)
-Had various planning meetings for my Brownie and Guide units.
-Planned weekly meetings on my own for Senior Section
-Done my Queen’s Guide award – near enough all of it!
-Take my Senior Section unit to York
-Fund-raised the money to take my Senior Section Unit to York which included various whole days making orders
-Planned various other trips etc for Both Brownies, Guides & Seniors, including a visit to our local nature reserve and the fire station.
-Taken (Although I didn’t plan this one) the units to Blackpool along with the rest of the leadership team.
-Helped at a PR event with local Majors in order to try and secure some funding for our local campsite
-Got 5 girls and myself through the common wealth award
-I am teaching 5 girls how to do video and photography work
-Planning for us to go to a soup kitchen to volunteer
-Planning for us to help with the preservation of our local nature reserve

In the next few weeks/months I am -
-Taking my Senior Section to Harrogate for the weekend for us all to be trained in Peer Education.
- Taking some of the girls Bag Packing to fundraise for our Local camp site.
- Taking my senior section to Manchester markets
-Taking the Brownies and Guides to the trafford centre to do a scavenger hunt and some christmas shopping
-Taking  them all to the cinema (in a few weeks)
-Helping one of our young leaders plan a pantomime trip for all of the girls.

So can someone explain to me how that is all lazy? I do wonder what gives her the right to judge me or why she thinks she knows me so well, the woman hasn’t spoken to me since I was 13 and even then it was to tell me to leave a room as they were having “Adult discussions” (which included labels for the flowers, basically she hadn’t wanted me around) and go sit outside on my own (while I was in tears after the death of my grandma I might add)

I just have to ask anyone who is reading my blog to never become like this I don’t understand why someone has to be so awful and feel the need to ridicule others in order to feel like they have some kind of superiority over others. It’s just awful. No one is ever superior over others, people just sometimes make better decisions than others and in my opinion she is making some awful decisions and karma will bite her in the butt with time.

To hear she continues to bad mouth me when she doesn’t even know me is very sad on her behalf, what is she gaining from doing it? She is really just losing respect.

Personally I just hope she can find a good way to vent that energy rather than trying to cause friction because to be frank this blog is the only possible rise she will get from me and in truth it’s a blog of bewilderment as to how she can feel the right to do it.

Poor woman, people don’t ever be that person.

Every moment you spend being awful towards another human being, belittling them, hating them is a moment you could spend trying to love them or at least loving someone else, doing something good with that time.

Life is too short.

Why we do the things we do?

I will apologise right now as this blog might not be as cohesive as I would like, because in truth I am not sure 100% the point I am trying to make. So just take this blog as a nice little story if you can’t take any kind of message from it.

So some people may know I have one tattoo as pictured below,

Now I got this when I was just out of university well the summer I finished 2009. It means determination and is on the back of my neck.
Most people don’t even realise it is there, which was part of my intention this tattoo is just for me because after university I was really low and needed something to remind me (Even if I can’t see it!) So when my cousin, who I will point out is the same age as my dad so he’s a responsible (Kinda) adult, went to get a tattoo and asked if I would like to too, I jumped at the chance.

You see I have wanted a tattoo since my early teens, my dad doesn’t like them at all and that has always been in the back of my mind so I wanted to wait until I was a lot older.
So when my cousin offered I figured what the heck, I already knew what I wanted and so a little over an hour later I had my completed tattoo.

So here’s where I am stood there having just had the tattoo done and immediately call my dad, not sure what to expect, yes he was the FIRST person I called. I know he’s always pretty open minded and is very much so on the side of I will make my own decisions and learn from my own mistakes so my conversation was very much so “I know you don’t like them but I got a tattoo, but it’s in a discreet place and it’s only small”

My dad’s response was just that it was my decision I would have to live with it and it wasn’t his choice to make.
I have to be honest I was expecting him to be even a little mad even though I was 21 I thought he would maybe give me a little bit of a lecture but nope.
From there on in I didn’t really feel bad about it and I’m thankful my dad didn’t get mad, because this was my decision and if he had got mad I think it would have also tainted the day I got the tattoo and attach that memory to it. Instead I got my dad being reasonable and saying it was my decision, leaving it open to me if I had made the right decision for me.

I can safely say that I did, to me it seems like just when I am feeling down or lost, especially in the current economic climate struggling to find a job I like, it’s like I remember what is on the back of my neck and what I wanted to remember, that I need to keep going and things will change.
It’s a reminder that I was once in a worse position which made me get this tattoo.
It’s just a memory, it marks a milestone in my life, not just getting the tattoo and having left university but also realising that my dad although he drives me crazy is a good guy and will let me be myself and grow and always has done (As my mum has done too don’t get me wrong) and also if they ever read this blog I will never live it down haha.

So there it is, the only messages I think I can say there are in that little ramble is:
- Don’t give up/be determined.
- Don’t hide things from people you may be surprised by how well they react, give them that chance to surprise you.
- Don’t rush into things, I had wanted this tattoo for almost 7 years before I got it done.
- Be thankful for people who will support you even if you do something they don’t necessarily like.

Ramble over. x